After a few weeks of some undercover recon work grilling the guys I’ve grown to love and then putting their advice to the test, I bring you the girls’ counterpart to this article about what guys should never have in their rooms.

I poked, I prodded, I plied with beer and they spilled…and I have the hilarious text messages to prove it.

Here are the top 6 mentions:

1. Clothes strewn all over the place – as the Jerk from this post said, “girls can either be really clean when they try, or really messy” and simply put, tis’ a turn-off. He wasn’t the only guy to mention it, actually 4 out of 6 guys I interviewed in person brought this up as a no-no.

2. A Bible – specific religion aside, the guys said that a Bible out in the open can freak them out a little bit. One on the bookhelf or in a drawer? No problem.

3. Ex-boyfriends’ anythings – the Jerk specifically brought up old boyfriends’ war medals but the general sentiment from all the guys was that tokens, trinkets, and memories between you and an ex belong in the trash — or at least well-hidden in that memory box you have sitting in your closet. Pictures are ok, especially if they’re mixed in with photos of family and friends (as in, there’s not a shrine to your guy somewhere) but take that framed “True Love 4Eva” pic off the nightstand.

4. Men’s clothing – this is a particularly tough one for me because I actually wear men’s clothing on a regular basis, that I’ve purchased myself. Cue the khakis I borrowed-stole from a good friend last summer, one of my buddy’s cool bracelets, and my favourite oversized shirts-to-wear-as-dresses and the 5-pack of Fruit of the Loom Men’s V-Necks I happen to love. But, again, across the board, all the boys said this is a no-no. They’ll just wonder, do you stockpile men’s clothes as souvenirs from your shags? Do these guys strut the stride of pride sans shirts? These are things they’d rather not be thinking about!

5. Condoms* – Ok so these are not all condoms in general but rather, too many condoms. 1 of the test subjects specifically used the words “unjustified condoms” as in “she didn’t try to justify them by saying something about only having them just in case.” You know I love you guys, and you know I’m here to push the limits and get results and here’s what I will tell you — be prepared, always, but don’t have the whole condom aisle in your nightstand drawer. It freaks guys out. Same goes with a half-used bottle of sex lotion. There’s a way to be classy about the whole thing, as ironic as that sounds.

6. Porcelain dolls – 100% of the guys I quizzed said they had zero issue with girls having stuffed animals in their rooms. They said they expect it, they accept it, they deal with it. But that same 100% said it freaked the hell out of them when they saw a girl’s porcelain doll collection. I’m totally gonna agree with this one and hell, I’m a girl but those dolls with their creepy dead eyes freak me out too!

Special thanks to the guys who contributed answers to this post, you know who you are and I won’t out you Weigh in with your own suggestions and get ready as we prepare to dig for more dirt with next week’s post.

xoxo,
Mel x JALBC